The Important Role Food Played In Avengers Endgame

Endgame was without a doubt the most “human” Avengers movie to date.

Everything from the different, non-superhero music “Dear Mr. Fantasy”  in the opening credits scene to the fact that Natasha Romanoff spent most of her non-Voromir scenes wearing comfy lounge-wear set a different tone for this story.

After everything that has happened over the past decade, the Russo brothers wanted a heavy emphasis on FAMILY in this story.

We’ve always been told to see our characters as a family. They have acted as a family with the teasing/inside jokes, and shared living spaces (yes, Vision, we’ve talked about this, you still need to knock on Wanda’s door before entering).

We’ve also seen them hurt each other and break one another’s hearts. We’ve seen the damage that can result from a family being broken apart. Civil War felt like a personal punch to the gut.

The Russo brothers confirmed that had the Avengers all been united in Infinity War that they would have actually beaten Thanos. It was possible, they had the power. But they were fractured, fighting on separate fronts, therefore they lost.

It’s a sobering reminder to us how important unity is and just how powerful families walking in unity can be.

We lost everything in Infinity War, but we also gained something that was Thanos’ ultimate undoing…

We got our family back, and this time they were stronger for the breaking.

One of the chief ways the Russo’s communicated this idea of togetherness and family was through a very visual feature.

Food.

I have never seen a Marvel movie that has this much eating in it. Sure, we’ve gotten cute moments of eating before. The famous “Shawarma” scene from the first Avengers is probably the most memorable one.

Food is necessary for our continued existence, but even more than that, food is a part of who we are.

When someone dies, we bring their family food. When a new life enters the world, we bring food.

Weddings are celebrated with food. Birthdays, sporting events, parties, and holidays as well.

People enjoy food together on dates, during long work hours, late night snacks, last minute taco runs, etc.

Food can also be used as an escape. Food can mark times and seasons as well as locations.

Food is comfort. Food is tradition. Food is artwork. Food is memories. Food is home. Food is a new adventure. Food is family. Food is gathering. Food is escapeFood is healing. Food is normal. Food is special. Food is celebration. Food is personal. Food is uniting. Food is provision. Food is safety. 

Food is the common thread that ties a whole life together, the good, the bad, and the glorious.

Avengers: Endgame was meant to tie all of the previous threads of the MCU together just as it was also meant to tie our characters together more strongly than ever before.

Every film is a conglomeration of many parts. If the set guy doesn’t do his job as well as the lighting lady does hers, the whole movie suffers. The musicians have to create music that illuminates the story. The actors have to bring the lines the scriptwriters wrote to life. The director has to see a million details and arrange how they come together in order to create a masterpiece.

No detail is too small. It is no mistake that there was so much food shown in this story, it was an excellent use of setting+props+actions to communicate the keyword, the solution, the most important theme for this entire story.

Together.

We open the movie to Clint Barton having an archery lesson with his lovely and strong daughter. In the background, his sweet wife is fixing hotdogs for lunch while the boys play catch. It’s calm, peaceful, and homey.

hawkeye farm scene

Clint pays no attention to the ankle bracelet he is wearing, it’s a forgotten object of his other life. This place, these people around the picnic table, this is his life, his heart, his home. Hotdogs at the picnic table, it doesn’t get much more normal and relatable than that.

One moment his wife is calling out for condiment orders, the next moment Clint’s entire family is dust. A very normal, familiar scene is turned into a horror show as he runs around screaming their names. The normalcy is polluted by the tragedy and shock.

Natasha Romanoff sits at an empty Avengers headquarters and talks to all of her super friends across the galaxy, trying to keep the whole universe safe at once.

And she’s making a peanut butter sandwich. A girl still has to eat, it is a strange juxtaposition. A woman in lounge pants making a peanut butter sandwich while managing intergalactic tensions and listening to the horrendous crimes her best friend Clint is committing in his grief.

She can barely choke the sandwich down, the peanut butter and the lump in her throat and her chest are in conflict with each other. #youcantcryandeatpeanutbutteritsscience

Steve Rogers drops by, and after threatening him with the sandwich Nat affectionately slides it across the table towards him. It’s a comfortable, casual kind of hospitality that shows their intimate friend/sibling relationship and trust.

nat and the sandwich

Scott Lang arrives in a flurry, he’s excited and he’s hungry. “Is that anybody’s sandwich? I’m starving!” #ilovethismansomuch

He downs the discarded sandwich in between sharing his brilliant idea to use the Quantum Realm to bring everyone back.

One sandwich tied together multiple characters. It was a strangely normal object in the midst of abnormal circumstances. It connected heavy grief, deep friendship, and new hope.

The hope of a new possibility. The sandwich connects the old mindset, the ruins of the previous era to the birthing of the new one that will drive the entire rest of the story for this movie and all that follow.

Tony Stark comes out of a very normal-looking cabin (normal for a Stark) to go bring his messy-haired little princess in for lunch. It’s such a darling domestic scene that highlights everything we ever wanted for our beloved Ironman.

A car pulls up, Steve, Nat, and Scott get out and interrupt the moment. Tony pours them some sort of healthy “smoothie”? A homemade smoothie likely made from the same vegetables we saw growing in the garden between the cabin and Morgan’s playhouse. They talk “quantum physics”  and saving the world, and Tony invites them to stay for lunch. They have to decline and leave to go talk to Dr. Banner.

tony and morgan

Later on, Tony is doing his dinner dishes in yet another scene of beautiful domesticity. The great Tony Stark does dinner dishes, AND in a moment of distraction, his own water sprayer attacks him. I loved that moment. He may be a genius/billionaire/superhero but even he gets attacked by his own water sprayer! #beentheredonethatandsohaveyou

He pulls up the specs to play with the idea of time travel while drinking another health drink (a neat callback to his famous green chlorophyll drinks) and munching on nuts.

Tony falls into his chair in shock at the discovery that this plan could work…only to be interrupted by Princess Morgan who wants juice pops. He tucks her in later and finishes off the juice pop.

 

Almost Tony’s entire story is summed up and highlighted by the use of food in these scenes. A callback to his earlier green drinks that were once upon a time his attempt to give himself a few more days to live in Ironman 2. 

His new life is such an opposite to the previous days of flashy towers, unhealthy sleep and eating habits, superficial relationships and constant noise.

This new life is deep, rich, simple, and pure. It’s wholesome and nourishing, just like the kinds of food we see around the Stark household. The juice pop is playful and childish, but it represents Morgan, therefore it’s utterly precious in it’s meaning.

Tony tells his wife that he may actually be able to save the world, all the while he is still playing with the stick from his baby girl’s juice pop.

This moment is huge for the Starks. Rather than jumping the gun, Tony actually has a calm and honest conversation with his wife that shows the vast growth and maturity of him as a character and of their relationship as a couple.

Pepper also shows huge growth as she actually listens to him, lets him know that she knows who he truly is, and gives him permission to pursue this new direction, knowing full well that she may lose him as a result. Tony is at peace when he makes this step, and he’s in unity with his wife. That peace enables him to unify with the rest of his family.

I believe that is why Tony is so incredibly successful this time around. Home and family were rooting for him now, he wasn’t reacting anymore, he was making conscious choices.

That sweet cabin with its vegetable garden and playhouse and two lovely ladies and a freezer of juice pops, that is why Tony Stark was able to defeat Thanos.

After thinking that Tony was out of the picture, Steve, Scott, and Nat go seek out Dr. Banner/aka Professor Hulk…and they meet at a diner.

The Dr. Banner of old would have been horribly uncomfortable in this casual, well-peopled setting, he would have felt exposed and nervous and been unable to relax. This time around Banner is fully in his element. He’s downing giant bowls of eggs and sausage and taking time for cool selfies with the neighborhood kids.

hulk at teh diner

It’s stinkin’ adorable. This big, green “Hulk” sitting at a little diner table eating eggs and sausage talking Quantum Physics, Time Travel, and selfies with his pals. Oh yes, and we noticed the “looks” he and Nat were trading. #youthoughtwewouldntnoticebutwedid

The small American diner is a common experience many of us have had throughout our entire lives. It is in this setting over eggs and sausage that part of our team comes together and begin a bizarre plan to save the world.

In previous movies, these kinds of plans were usually made dramatic surroundings, be it the Avenger’s Tower or the ruins of New York streets. The only thing that comes close is Nat and Steve enjoying breakfast at Sam’s house while they make a plan to take Hydra down. But that moment was still a reactionary thing.

Good, high quality food requires excellent planning, preparation, and proper execution. Just like good food, this Time Heist the Avengers have to pull out cannot be a haphazard plan, this is their Sistine Chapel. This is their Great Wall of China. It’s their masterpiece.

Our heroes have had to react after the fact so many times over. In their line of work, that’s often the only way to do it and maintain some balance of freedom. Like Cap says, “I thought the punishment came after the crime.” It’s hard to anticipate every threat without aiming a whole gun at the world.

But this time around they have had five years to sit and think about Thanos’ crime. This time they have a chance to take a breath, assemble the pieces of their plan carefully, do their research, and launch from a place of preparation.

This isn’t a quick breakfast before or shawarma after, this is a fine, full meal that our Avengers have planned. Most of our characters have grown immensely over the past 5 years, they have nourished different parts of themselves that were always on hold before.

Scott Lang is sitting outside about to enjoy a lovely taco when suddenly all of his toppings are blasted out of his shell by the arrival of the Milano bringing Rocket and Nebula. He stares open-mouthed (oh how I love this man) only to be called an idiot by Nebula (WHY? Cause he’s excited to see a spaceship? I call that charming, sister, get over yourself!) And then he’s scared half to death by the arrival of Rhodey, who thoroughly enjoys calling him “Regular-sized man.”

I was so panicked that Scott would be left a laughingstock with no taco, but then Hulk walks by, beams at him, and gives him not just one taco, but two. Scott beams back. It’s one of the most adorable moments of the whole movie.

hulk gives taco

Hulk/Banner is so chipper, so benevolent, for how heavy some of the other parts of the movie are, Banner’s turnaround was really refreshing to me. This moment showed just how far he’s come, how at peace he is with himself. It also cemented the fact that Scott is an accepted member of the family now, he gets to share their tacos.

Tacos are playful and celebratory. Both Professor Hulk and Scott Lang provide some of the lightest moments in this movie, they were bouyant characters who lifted it up even as the subject matter and parts of the storyline were really heavy.

We see food used in a negative context with Thor. From the bulging beer belly to the pizza that looked non-to-fresh (where did he even get pizza in New Asgard?), we see that Thor has not been nourishing himself well in the past five years.

chunky thor

I do not judge him, that man had taken more hits of grief one after another than almost anyone else leading up to Thanos. His personal crash dive was inevitable and made him more “human”. But food has had a negative effect on him, it has become an escape as well as a prison to him.

Even this very shocking change in our handsome god of Thunder made this movie seem more normal. We have experienced grief, and many of us have medicated with food, and some have medicated with alcohol.

But just like we try to bring those broken brothers and sisters back into the fold, so our Avengers family bring their broken brother back home. He may feel unworthy, but they have not forgotten who he is. They still need him, they still want him. It’s a beautiful thing.

Gathering together in unity around a feast of ideas, personalities, abilities, and experiences; this is how the Avengers save the world. Together.

The most prominent scene involving our Avengers and food is around the dining room table during the Time Heist planning montage. It’s an utterly charming montage of people sprawled all over furniture, storytelling, note-taking, and yes, eating noodles.

I loved, loved, LOVED this quick scene. No, I didn’t appreciate Rocket giving Scott such a hard time for his excitement over space. GUYS! Would you all give this man a break? Part of what I love about Scott is his open-eyed wonder and enjoyment of all the super stuff around him. He’s exactly how I would be if I suddenly became a superhero but I was still me. He’s adorable.

scott endgame

But we see most of the team taking in some delicious looking Chinese takeout. Thor is at his drinks again. Rocket is walking on the table as he shares about the Power Stone, and no one blinks an eye. Hulk is eating a giant carton of ice cream that given the color and ingredients we can only assume it is Ben and Jerry’s Hulk Hunka Burning Fudge flavor mentioned in Infinity War.

They are all so…weird.

Rocket is on the table. He’s a raccoon with a deadly shot, brilliant mind, and sassy mouth, and specific cleanliness standards just like any other raccoon. Thor, King of Asgard, the god of Thunder is wearing a dirty hoodie and drinking cheap beer. This dude can literally fly and channel lightning through his body.

Billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist-now-husband-father Tony Stark. Serum-super WWII hero Steve Rogers.

Nebula, an alien/cyborg who really needs to see a counselor. James Rhodes, former military-rule-stickler turned Avenger who gets around with his robotic legs.

Scott Lang, a brilliant thief who can become smaller than comprehendible or the size of a giant. Natasha, formerly a ruthless killing machine turned into the biggest, sweetest heart we’ve ever seen.

Clint Barton, husband, father, expert bowman, samurai assassin? And Professor Hulk. He’s huge, green, playful, and sophisticated.

They are so weird, but they are teammates. They are partners. They are a family. They have gathered together as individuals carrying their own griefs, their own burdens, their own regrets.

They also came to carry each other’s burdens as well, to stand side by side and fight not just for their own sakes, but for the sake of their loved ones and millions of strangers.

A family dinner with the Avengers means that the earth is about to shake. Good is about to happen. Darkness is about to fall from its throne. This family is gearing up to take down evil and bring life together.

avengers planning endgame

The final mention of food is the one that brings us full circle in this decade of films. It’s the part of the movie that got me the hardest.

Cheeseburgers.

Dangit, Happy! I cried harder when Happy got choked up than at any other part of this movie.

Cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers.

Cheeseburgers marked the turning point of Tony Stark. The moment he came back from captivity in the Middle East the first thing he asked for was cheeseburgers, and a press conference.

Tony had come back from the Middle East a changed man. He saw a bigger picture now, he was not just living for himself anymore, he had decided to use his incredible gifts to make the world a better place. “Don’t waste it.” 

Tony didn’t. He made a heck of a mess along the way, he made a lot of mistakes, hurt some people, but oh man, he did NOT waste it.

The sweet moment where Happy is cuddling Morgan on the front porch and being a kind, fatherly figure to her was such a precious, gut-wrenching moment.

Like father, like daughter. Morgan just did something really hard, and she’s setting out on a new journey that is going to be hard, she wants cheeseburgers. #somebodyhelpmemyhurtiswounded

cheeseburgers

This movie is a masterpiece. It brought together so many precious stories, so many beloved characters, so many hard and triumphant moments. It used imperfect characters to bring heartache and healing.

It gave us redemption, second chances, and a new future. It encouraged us to walk out of those theater doors as changed people, changed for the better.

The use of food in this movie was like a thread in a rich tapestry, a bit of theme music on low volume, present but subtle.

It added to the richness and the purpose of this story and appealed to our personal experiences. It reminded us of old and precious memories and gave us new ones. It marked times and seasons, it tied our characters together and drew them even closer to us, the audience.

Endgame is unlike any movie I have ever seen in my life. I don’t know if you could replicate that level of amazing. Like a fine meal, there are so many layers to be addressed.

I left the theater feeling very full in my heart. Some parts of the feast that was Endgame were sweet, others were bitter, some were salty. But regardless, I walked away feeling full.

Future filmmakers should take notes from the excellent use of food in this movie. It was not a 100% necessary element, but it was used effectively to flesh out a story in an unforgettable way.

Thank you, Anthony and Joe Russo, you gave us a feast.

Endgame: Sam Wilson the New Captain America

Dear Chris Evans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Endgame: Sam Wilson the New Captain America

…I do what he does, just slower. (Sam Wilson/aka Falcon) Captain America: The Winter Soldier

#foreshadowingmuch

Marvel has me pretty paranoid by now with how intense their line foreshadowing game is. It’s scary on point.

on your left

The meeting of Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers is my favorite introduction of two characters in the entire MCU. The Winter Soldier is my favorite Marvel movie, it’s almost my favorite movie period. Every aspect of that film is absolute perfection.

From the first moment we met Sam Wilson, it felt right. He clicked. He and Steve Rogers were immediately on the same page, walking to the same rhythm. Have you ever met a kindred spirit and just known somewhere inside that you two fit together like puzzle pieces?

I have, and that is what happened when Steve Rogers met Sam Wilson. They clicked and they have never been out of sync since.

steve and sam.png

Sam may not have super serum like Steve does, but they have the same heart. The same resolve. The same courage.

If it had been just Sam still standing in front of Thanos and his horde of invaders in Endgame he would have acted no differently than Steve did. He would have taken a breath, tightened the strap on his shield, and stood his ground against an army, even if he had to do it alone.

When I saw Steve hand the beloved shield over to Sam, I was delighted inside. I know some people were rooting for Bucky to receive that honor, but in truth, that was never supposed to be Bucky’s place.

Bucky Barnes is an incredible character and a good man. He’s been through hell and he’s still standing. I am very much looking forward to getting to see more of his story and his future in Wakanda under the name of White Wolf

Bucky has been a good friend to Steve, but he is not cut out to be Captain America. The differences between Bucky and Steve made them powerful as a team; however, they are not similar in the way Steve and Sam are.

sam and steve 2.png

Since Day 1 of meeting Steve, Sam Wilson has been right by his side. He’s listened, encouraged, and understood Steve when no one else could. Sam fed the poor man breakfast when he showed up looking like an abused golden retriever. Not once did he worry about the threat “Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”.

I can’t ask this of you, Sam, you got out for a good reason.

Dude, Captain America needs my help, there’s no better reason to get back in the fight.

It wasn’t his fight, but he chose to make it his own without complaint or hesitation. From that moment on Sam has never left Steve’s side.

Sam was the one keeping vigil at Steve’s hospital bed waiting for his new friend to wake up.

on your left gif.gif

He signed up to search for Steve’s other best friend, the guy who almost killed them very violently. Why? Because it’s important to Steve, so it’s important to him as well. He was even working on the search when Steve had to be busy tracking down leftover Hydra goons with his cool Avenger friends. Sam wasn’t bitter in the least, he was happy to help.

You’re a good man, Sam.

In Civil War Sam was Steve’s closest ally. He’s right beside him at Peggy’s funeral, he’s got his friend’s back physically and emotionally. Seriously, folks, we need more supportive friendships like this in the world.

sam and steve at funeral

Sam willingly goes into exile with Steve and their other buddy Natasha post Civil War and they do some pretty cool Secret Avenger work up until Infinity War. 

Even after Sam is gone we still see the similarities. Just as Sam was doing with veterans when Steve met him, Steve begins a support group to help people in need. He cares about the individual grief and stories of everyday people, and he’s willing to take the time to help them. The scene is very similar to the one we see in The Winter Soldier where Sam is coaching veterans through their trauma.

Cap, can you hear me? Cap, it’s Sam, can you hear me? On your left.

on your left endgame

Steve has never been so tired or looked more alone than he does right at the moment when Sam’s garbled radio message reaches him in Endgame. He’s gonna face an army alone if he has to because he will never quit. That’s who he’s always gonna be until his last breath. But he’s not alone…

On your left. 

And his faithful friend Sam arrives…along with everyone else the Avengers just fought tooth and nail to bring back.

Sam was ready to follow his friend through time and share the burden of replacing the Infinity Stones, that’s what he’s been doing since Day 1, sharing Steve’s burden regardless of how hard or messy it got.

I think Bucky knew that Steve planned to stay in the past. There is a level of internal understanding between those two that is entirely unique to them. He knew and understood it.

Sam was the more agitated of the two best friends when Steve didn’t immediately return. Unlike Bucky, fighting alongside Steve has been Sam’s entire life for the past few years. When both men look over to see a more elderly (and still very handsome) Steve seated on the bench, Sam looks to Bucky to give him room to approach first, he respects the seniority. #puninteded

Bucky nods and lets Sam go, he knows that this is more important to Sam’s life right now than it is his. He’s giving permission for Sam to get to be the best friend he’s been for the past several years. He’s earned this. He’s proven his worthiness over and over again with no thought of personal gain. He’s just being himself.

falcon captain america

It’s never been the super serum that made Captain America what he is, it’s always been Steve Rogers’ heart.

I am looking for qualities beyond the physical.

Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. (Dr. Erskine) Captain America: The First Avenger

You’re a good man, Sam.

They’ve been telling us all along, it was always Sam who was destined to take up the shield.

Sam and Steve have the same heart, and that is why Sam is our next Captain America. He will not be Steve Rogers, no one can ever replace that man, but…

I’ll do my best.

We know you will, Sam.

sam cap 2

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Exactly What It Needed to Be

 

FinnRey Is True, Sacrificial Love

Yesterday I covered why Reylo needs to be seen for what it is, abusive.

Abrams and Johnson gave us a brilliant example of what-not-to-do to win and keep the girl.

blow that piece of junk

At the same time, we were also given a beautiful example of what true love looks like.

FinnRey

finnrey hug last jedi

I cannot remember falling in love with the idea of two characters together faster than I fell in love with Finn and Rey. I was sold within the first 3 minutes of their interaction, the chemistry is that real.

Finn

Finn is a glorious character to me. He gave a face to the face-less stormtrooper and showed us in a new way how heroes can come from anywhere. Finn often stumbles or stutters his way through his actions, but his heart is so noble and fierce that it always wins out. Finn is simple and powerful as a character.

finn the last jedi

Rey

Rey’s heart of compassion was shown the moment she rescued BB-8 and let him come home with her (we all know he slept at the end of her bed that night). True, she was grouchy about it at first, but let’s give her some grace, it had been a long day. She proved how true her heart was when she was offered 60 portions for BB-8…and she turned Unkar Plott down. This sets her apart from every other creature scratching for survival on that junkyard planet and points to the fact that she’s nobler, higher, and destined for more. Her principles out-weight her fear for her future needs.

rey and the baby

Rey and Finn, unlike Kylo and Rey, are not actually as similar…on the surface. However, in their hearts, Rey and Finn are cut from the same exact heroic cloth.

Rey and Kylo are both strong in the Force, they are the light and dark sides of the same coin, but that does not mean they fit together.

Finn is an ex-stormtrooper, a fact that he hates. However, his military training and insider knowledge of the First Order prove invaluable during the progression of this story and his involvement with Rey. He knows military history, First Order Equipment, and battle strategy. He uses this knowledge for key missions in both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi.

The thing that Finn hates most about his past is actually the thing that he uses time and time again to save his future.

Rey hated her life on Jakku, but it taught her valuable skills. She’s smart, quick-thinking, an athletic warrior and a genius mechanic.

Like Finn, the most painful parts of Rey’s past have become the keys and tools to unlocking her future.

Practically speaking, their strengths and weaknesses complement each other. They are a shockingly good team, a fact they discover within just a few minutes of meeting each other.

 

And then there is the cuteness of this “you’re awesome” “no you’re awesome” session where BB-8 is feeling like a third wheel.

This is only the second time Finn has connected with a human being in his life. For Rey, this is the first time. They look at each other with amazement because they didn’t know nice humans like this existed.

Finn and Rey are not the same in their giftings like Kylo and Rey are. What Finn and Rey have is the same heart, which is vastly more important than the same skills.

True love happens when two people who have the same heart and intentions towards life find each other. They are not the same person, they have different skills and stories, but they are pointed in the same direction and care about the same things.

We attract what we are. Rey and Finn are attracted to each other and brought together because they are pointed in the same direction and have the same heart.

rey and finn

Kylo’s first introduction to Rey was him knocking her out and kidnapping her. #howromantic

Finn’s first introduction to Rey happened when he moved to help her once Unkar Plott’s thugs began attacking her. Read the difference between Kylo and Finn here. One came to kidnap and use, the other came to help with no thought of personal gain.

finns sense of justice

Finn is on the run, wanted, and in an easy-to-spot location. He lost his only friend, has no experience or resources, just spent hours in the desert wearing all black (that’d take me down), and just drank water full of Happobore snot.

Finn has nothing. He’s on a godforsaken planet where everyone is rude or doesn’t speak his language. A person who is only concerned with their own survival would keep a low profile, stay out of trouble, and certainly not get involved in a fight without a weapon.

finn to the rescue

Finn does NONE of the above, strategically, he does the dumbest thing. He sees some thugs hassling a girl, and he runs over to help, “Hey!”

He doesn’t know the story here, who the ruling class is, nothing! All he knows is someone is being attacked and he’s not okay with that. Finn to the rescue!

Stupid? Maybe. Noble? Totally. Our first scene with Finn showed his horror for cruelty and his unwillingness to be a part of it. But this moment goes even farther to define his character. He is not just going to remove himself in protest, he’s going to get involved when someone needs help. What is it they say about evil?

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Finn is not going to do nothing, even if that’s what he thinks he wants, his actions keep contradicting his surface-level fears and beliefs.

rey kicking rear

He runs to help…but, wow! This girl can kick-rear! He pauses in his heroic charge. This facial expression is just the cutest. His face says #impressed and he glances around to see if anyone else just saw what he did.

finn impressed

This may seem like simple fangirling on my part, but it’s so much bigger than that. This detail ties into one of my absolute favorite aspects of Finn and Rey’s relationship.

Finn absolutely loves Rey for who she is. He is immediately attracted to her heart, desires her good opinion, and believes 100% in her capability, sometimes more than she does. 

Kylo Ren wanted Rey and what she had to use for his own gain, whenever she refused him he became angry and fearful because her strength threatened his control.

Finn delights in Rey because he loves everything about her. He enjoys her, admires her, and celebrates her strength.

True love does not fear someone else’s strength, rather, true love values a person and celebrates all that they are.

Finn is so excited that Rey exists, the moment he meets her he has someone he loves to fight for. Over a short time that love grows bigger than his fear of what he fled.

Finn displays his appreciation for what Rey can do throughout The Force Awakens. When they are about to be boarded (they believe Han and Chewie are actually The First Order) he asks her to unfix the gas leak to conquer the Storm Troopers “..their helmets filter out smoke not toxins.” Again, pairing his knowledge + her skills = effective team.

Onboard Han’s freighter ship Finn and Rey are hiding while Han “talks his way out” of trouble with the gangsters. Hearing that the situation is getting out of hand, Rey comes up with a mechanical solution.

finn proud of rey rathtar

Look at his cheesy grin. He thinks she’s just the dadgum smartest thing and doesn’t even question that her trick worked.

Uh oh…

What?

Wrong fuses.

Later on during the escape from Starkiller Base Finn leads Rey to the precise spot where she can remove the whatcha-ma-call-it (she’s the mechanic, not I) to get Han and Chewie into the core for some explosive activity.

In The Last Jedi Finn and the other 7.5 Resistance members remaining head out in the equivalent of rusted soda cans to take on the best The First Order has. They’d be toast, but who should show up at just the right moment? Rey!

While Kylo is screaming “Blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY!” Finn is having the exact opposite reaction.

finn woo yeah falcon

Wooo! YEAH!

The man is screaming in pure glee. His face is at first shock, next glee, and then proud certainty. He knows exactly who is on that ship and he knows his girl is gonna kick some First Order butt!

When Rey uses the Force to move rocks (oh the poetic humor of that) she’s never done this before and holy cow I cannot believe that worked!

rey holy cow that worked

Poe is amazed. Finn is also amazed, but it’s different. Poe is gaping and Finn just accepts the obvious of course she can do it and goes running to her.

rey can move rocks

Which leads me to my next thought.

Finn and Rey are constantly reaching new heights in their abilities and character growth because their desire for the other person to be okay is bigger than their fear or comfort zone.

Finn and Rey really care about each other.

rey resistance fighter.gif

Finn’s immediate desire to impress Rey and have her think well of him is really cute. Finn is kind of like an adorkable puppy, so at first glance, this looks like puppy love.

finn i am with the resistance

Everything following that scene, even events that take place within just a few hours of their first meeting confirms that Finn’s crush is more than just a crush.

He hears the approach of the tie-fighters and grabs her hand, she’s not gonna die today if he can help it.

FinnRey

An explosion sends both Finn and Rey to the ground. Rey recovers first and reaches over to her fallen companion.

Hey!

Finn starts and instantly turns to her with a look of true concern.

finn are you ok

Are you okay?

Rey stares at him like she hadn’t heard him correctly. Wait, what?

rey are you ok

Finn is the first person in Rey’s entire life to ask if she was okay. No one has ever cared before.

Can you even imagine?

I already covered the cuteness of the following scenes above (I know this is not chronological but there is a method to my madness).

finn and rey rathtar gif

 

When the Rathtars escape Finn shows yet again that he truly cares about Rey. Like Rey, Finn has been emotionally starved his whole life, however, his reaction to that lack is to instantly wear his heart on his sleeve. Rey is far more reserved about her responses in the beginning, but it doesn’t take her that much longer to start showing her affection in return.

Nooo, noo, noo!

Finn! Finn!

REY!!!

REY, RUN!!!

Poor, terrified Finn is about to be eaten quite violently, but he’s screaming at Rey to keep running.

Rey is a stayer, not a leaver, so she uses the same trick that got them into this mess to get them out of it again, saving Finn.

On Takodana Finn’s fears overwhelm him and he walks away from the mission to get BB-8 back to the Resistance. Maz is disappointed. Han looks sympathetic and sad. Rey…Rey is devastated.

You can’t just go, I won’t let you. (She’s been left before, not again, she cares too much.)

I’m not who you think I am.

Finn, what are you talking about?

I’m not Resistance! I’m not a hero.

He’s looking at her with so much shame.

finn im a stormtrooper

…I made a choice, I wasn’t going to kill for them. So I ran, right into you. And you looked at me like no one ever had. I was ashamed of what I was. But I am done with The First Order, I’m never going back.

Rey, come with me!

Don’t go!

finn take care of yourself

She didn’t even blink at him being a former Stormtrooper. She just pleaded don’t go. She’s found someone real, please, please don’t go.

He’s still too scared, you can see how much he wants to be with her, but he leaves anyway. This is his low point as a character. Still, he asks her very sincerely to take care of herself.

rey don't go

The fact that Rey would even be tender enough to let herself grow attached to someone so quickly, and then ask them to stay is incredible. It speaks of her tender heart and of the true connection she and Finn have.

True love makes you braver.

It’s brave of Rey to open up her heart. Right now, it looks like that decision is about to get her hurt again. Finn thinks he can just walk away…but…

Where’s Rey?

Finn needs a t-shirt with this phrase. Rey disappears into the forest after her terrifying visions and the rest of Takodana stares at the skies in horror as Starkiller Base destroys the New Republic. Finn runs up to inform Han of what is happening and then stops where’s Rey?

The explanation from Maz Kanata (this girl gets things done) and the arrival of The First Order get things in motion.

Go! Help your friend!

She’s figured out Finn’s motivation, so she plunks that lightsaber in his hand and sends him off. And he goes.

I’m done with The First Order, I’m never going back.

He literally said that like an hour ago and now he’s charging into the ranks of a warzone, wielding an unfamiliar weapon with courage he does not believe he possesses. He’s doing it because he knows that Rey needs him, and that need is stronger than his fear.

finn horrified

The horror in Finn’s eyes when he sees Rey limp and being carried off by his worst nightmare is legit. I was already sold on Finn, but the acting here of pure devastation and anguish sold me on John Boyega as an actor. WOW!

Finn goes running and screaming (again, bad battle strategy) towards a horde of Stormtroopers and Kylo Ren. He’s not thinking, it’s pure emotion right now.

The rest of the movie is Finn acting in direct contradiction to what he says he wants, and that is to get as far away from The First Order as possible.

This guy, this scared, inexperienced guy comes up with a plan to get himself behind enemy lines and sneaks himself, Chewbacca, and Han into the base. Once there, he confronts and conquers his former slave driver, Phasma, to accomplish the mission. Next, he comes up with a plan to save Rey. It’s a terrible plan, but an incredibly brave one that actually includes him running in to draw fire. He may not even live another hour but as long as Rey is okay, he’s okay.

finn im just here to get rey

I’m done with The First Order, I’m never going back.

When Finn first fled The First Order his only goal was freedom and escape. Now that Rey is in his life, his only goal is making sure that she’s okay, this goal is to the detriment of his original goal.

Actions speak louder than words. After Han’s death Rey and Finn attempt to make their escape back to the Falcon. Kylo shows up (can the man portal jump, how’d he get there so fast?). Rey yells, Kylo knocks her against a tree, Finn is devastated again.

Rey is down for the count. Finn takes up that lightsaber again and engages in combat with a vastly superior foe, one whom he has been terrified of from the beginning.

It is Finn’s screaming that awakens Rey, she opens her eyes in time to see Kylo slash his back open and leave him still and cold in the snow. Kylo reaches for the lightsaber with the full expectation of it coming to him, but it goes to Rey instead.

rey lightsaber scared

 

You can see the utter shock in Rey’s face, it is the same shock she has when she is actually able to move the rocks on Crait to save the Resistance. She’s shocked, she’s scared, but she is doing it because she has to.

In The Last Jedi Finn awakens with one thought.

Rey!

Where’s Rey?

His motivation for most of the second movie is to ensure Rey has something to return to. He knows she will come back, and he’s going to make sure it’s safe for her to do so. Rey is on a personal mission, but even bigger is her knowledge that the people she loves (like Finn) are counting on her to come through for them. She goes to the scariest place to face the scariest people to accomplish this mission.

True love fights for the other person.

True love is focused on giving, not getting. When two people in a relationship are both focused on giving, more needs are actually met.

True love never stunts growth, it creates growth organically.

This is so true for FinnRey. They both face their greatest demons and reach new heights because of their interaction with each other.

And now for the biggest, most beautiful thing of all.

finnrey

She’s lived a life of misery waiting for one thing…someone to come back for her.

He’s never had anyone to care for in his life…until he met her.

The last thing Rey heard from Finn was that he was leaving. Like the survivor that she is, she escapes from Kylo’s clutches and starts creeping around the base, looking for an exit strategy. She’s on her own, like always, and doing well. But she’s scared. She’s been scared her whole life and this is the worst time yet.

She turns a corner…

And there they are. There he is. Han asks,

Are you alright?

Yeah.

Finn is relieved but still concerned.

What happened, did he hurt you? (clearly he was imagining the worst and who can blame him)

We came back for you.

*Chewbacca noises. Guys, I think Chewie is a FinnRey shipper.

Rey stares at Finn in utter shock.

What’d he say?

He said it was your idea.

The Hug Part 1

rey hug tfa

This look, this hug, wow. Finn has no idea just how much his actions mean to Rey. He came back for her, she matters to someone.

He cannot fill every hole in her heart, but he just healed some major ones.

finnrey hug Starkiller base

And he holds her like she is so precious to him. The amount of peace and hope these two find with each other is vital for the next movie, The Last Jedi.

Kylo Ren tries to reinforce Rey’s feelings of worthlessness so she will turn to him for a sense of value, and he can use her power. 

Finn risks everything to go and save Rey because he already loves and values her apart from anything he can gain from her. This action tells her for the first time in her life that she is loved. 

*From a deleted scene in The Last Jedi, BB-8 shows Finn a recording of Rey’s parting words to him. Pretty sure BB-8 is also a FinnRey shipper.

finn reys goodbye

The most disappointing part of The Last Jedi to me was that Finn and Rey spent most of the movie apart. John and Daisy felt the absence, the fans felt the absence, the characters felt the absence. But they never forgot each other, they just did their best to work towards the same goals in their separate locations. They loved each other from afar.

There was value added by Rey’s interaction with Kylo and Finn’s interaction with Rose. These new characters not only added the lucrative “love triangle” edge that is super annoying, but they brought something fresh to Finn and Rey that they could not get from each other.

 

Finn couldn’t fully commit to his future until he stopped running from his past. Rose pushed him to that point.

Likewise, Rey could not have the proper perspective on her future until she had faced her past and chosen not to let it define her. Kylo pushed her to that point.

Even so, Finn was never in love with Rose, and Rey was never in love with Kylo. I mentioned in the Reylo article that Rey felt compassionate empathy for Kylo, not romantic love, which is part of why she was able to walk away when he refused to do the right thing. Finn had respect and appreciation for Rose, but c’mon, have y’all never seen a one-sided kiss before?

chewie finnrey shipper

See? Chewie ships this! I am DYING to know what he said here, somewhere in some drawer there is a sheet with Chewie’s lines in English. It’s a National Treasure and someone needs to steal it.

Finn and Rey both care about people and their stories (remember, cut from the same cloth?)

Rey cared about Kylo as a person and took the time to hear his story. Finn cared about Rose as a person and took the time to hear her story.

The chance Finn and Rey took with these new people actually moved them past their greatest hurdles and fears to the next level.

And then…

The Hug Part 2

rey moves rocks

This is Rey’s face as she sees Finn running towards her.

finn hug tlj

The amount of non-verbal communication happening here is breathtaking. Finn’s face has so many emotions. Relief, exhaustion, and deep, deep love. He lets out a sigh like he’s been holding his breath this whole time. He’s finally home.

finnrey hug tlj

Rey’s face says one thing, peace. Her face has not been this way for the entire movie. Resolved? Yes. Brave? Focused, determined, angry, afraid, sad, it has been all of those things, but this is the first time she’s been at peace. She’s home.

You are at home with someone who truly loves you.

Finn and Rey are a beautiful picture of how two people with broken places can bring healing to each other. They help each other grow. They give courage to the other one even when they are not together. They appreciate each other for who they are. They are willing to sacrifice for the other person. Finn and Rey show each other true love.

Ladies, don’t be afraid to hold out for a Finn, you will NOT regret it.

Gentlemen, a girl like Rey is the kind of girl you can spend forever with. Keep that in mind.

And the last one is just me indulging my fangirl feels.

rey in finns jacket

She was dressed for the desert. This is a snow planet. He gave her his jacket. I’m done!

See you at the movies!

Reylo Is Dangerous, Stop Glorifying It

The Last Jedi: Where No One Had Gone Before

Reylo Is Dangerous, Stop Glorifying It

Prepare for a very bold post, because this needs to be said. Warning, not all parts of this post are PG.

Reylo, the ship for Kylo Ren and Rey in the recent Star Wars trilogy is very popular.

I’ve seen fanart, posts, and social media buzz about “Reylo”. How “sexy”, how “gorgeous”, how “hot” it is, etc.

its a trap gif

Please, please, PLEASE just stop.

I am a die-hard FinnRey shipper. I will not apologize for that. But my reason for being so vehemently opposed to Reylo is not directly tied to it being in opposition to my ship.

The entire idea of Reylo is stomach-turning to me because it is abusive, controlling, and all-too real for thousands of men and women in the world. What people are fantasizing about and hoping for onscreen is an actual nightmare reality that is destroying lives every day.

Kylo Ren

Kylo Ren is an utterly fascinating villain. I’m even going to venture to say he is one of the most interesting villains in the Star Wars universe.

Kylo is conflicted, a mix of human and monster. He’s vulnerable, he’s powerful. He’s full of contradictions. Adam Driver has done this character justice. I have looked into Kylo Ren’s big, beautiful brown eyes and in my heart, I have begged Ben Solo to come out; even after Han Solo died at his own hand. I love Han Solo, so that’s some powerful storytelling right there.

I look at Ren and I see him as his mother and father would love to see him. I see him as Chewbacca must remember seeing him. I see him as who he could be. I hate how lost he is.

kylo ren the last jedi

I feel all of that, but that does not change who Ben Solo is choosing to be.

Despite his conflict, Ben/Ren continually digs himself deeper into the hole of darkness. He is obsessed with control, driven by fear and bitterness. His power and pain make him both weak and cruel. He can appear incredibly human, even reasonable at times. But the moment he is told “no” Kylo Ren descends into rage and hatred, often towards the very person he was trying to win.

Rey

Rey is also a mixed bag of vulnerable and powerful. She lives with the raw wounds of abandonment and lovelessness gaping in her soul at all times. Her incredible skills as a fighter, mechanic, and pilot were all born out of survival. Imagine what she must have suffered, what must have been taken from her as a child to bring her to this point?

Rey is desperate for someone, anyone to love her and come back for her. She wants to belong, to know that she has value. She has been treated as worthless waste her entire life.

rey

Despite all of the tragedy and pain of her past, Rey has still emerged with more compassion and courage than anyone would expect given her past. Her heart is tender, her sense of right and wrong are intact, and she chooses to fight for those things at great personal cost. She boldly says “no” when evil tries to manipulate her into saying yes.

These two are meant to be a dark vs light reflection of each other, they are meant to be similar.

ben and rey

But these two do not belong together!

Kylo Ren and Rey are similar, but their entire life perspective and goals are diametrically opposed. His pain has made him cruel, her pain has made her kind. He wants to control his world, she wants to free hers. He burns connections, she creates them. He uses his power to hurt, she uses her power to rescue.

These are the black and white practical reasons why Reylo will never work. These would be enough, but let’s look at the biggest reason why Reylo is wrong.

Reylo is abusive.

kylo ren rey takodana

Before Rey knows what she is capable of, she is incredibly vulnerable. She has no control. Kylo has a predatory interest in her like Snoke had in him before his seduction to the Dark Side. He senses she is special, he wants her power.

Abusive people want what you have because they believe they can use it to increase their power/self image/control/happiness etc.

Upon discovering she knows the location of the map, he knocks her out and kidnaps her. Why is any of this attractive? If I walked in on this scene I would shoot first and ask questions later. This is “Reylo’s” first meeting; helpless Rey, controlling Kylo. *gags*

kylo ren creep

Next up we have this scene.

As a woman, the first half of this scene made me extremely uncomfortable. It’s basically every woman’s nightmare scenario of being restrained and helpless in the hands of a ruthless man. The body language Kylo uses as well as his intimidating words,

…you know I can take anything I want…

made me feel ill in my soul. I felt violated on Rey’s behalf.

A fan pointed out this scene felt like an assault upon Rey, something that J. J. Abrams confirmed was his intention. This is a “mental assault” scene. We are meant to feel disgusted in our core.

Rey blew me away. She refutes his mental assault, overpowers him in the Force, finds his greatest fear, and leaves him shaking on the ground.

The joy of this scene has everything to do with Rey’s victory over her kidnapper and nothing to do with any Reylo chemistry.

Dear Reylo Shippers, are you really finding this kind of interaction romantic? Do you want your romantic partner to treat you this way? Really? 

That’s not a relationship, that’s a crime.

Kylo Ren reports back to Snoke an emotional basketcase.

“She is strong with the Force, stronger than she knows!”

“Supreme Leader, I can get the map from the girl, I just need your guidance.”

The anger that we see written in every line of Kylo’s body as he marches back to his prisoner speaks of his true heart. Kylo does not like to be crossed, when he is refused what he desires he becomes angry.

Abusive and controlling people are made angry by someone standing up to them.

After the dreadful scene where Kylo Ren kills his own father, he meets with Rey again…

…where he flings her backward into a tree (thank heavens her hair buns take the brunt of the impact!). Rey falls into the snow unconscious where she would once again be at Kylo Ren’s mercy if it were not for someone who truly loves her taking up the lightsaber to fight and protect her.

Jedi Finn

Don’t worry, the FinnRey post is coming.

Our final Kylo Ren/Rey moments in The Force Awakens take place over an absolutely gorgeous lightsaber battle.

Kylo recognizes (like the rest of us watching with gaping mouths) that this girl Rey is a one-of-a-kind person who is going to change the galaxy with her power. He wants in on it, so he tries to manipulate her inexperience and desire to belong,

…you need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Force!

confronting ren

Big mistake, he just helps Rey unlock even more power by reminding her of Maz Kanata’s wise words about letting the Force in. Rey leaves Kylo bloodied and beaten in the snow.

In The Force Awakens Kylo Ren wanted Rey’s power, but by the end of The Last Jedi, he also wanted her heart. 

I do not blame anyone for falling in love with Rey, good or bad.

Rey is the kind of person who infiltrates people’s armor and gets to their heart. She’s magnetic. So let me say, I do not blame Kylo Ren for falling for her.

I do not think Rey was ever in love with Kylo Ren, I think she had compassionate empathy for him. There is a huge difference between the two, and it is because of this difference that Rey does not end up a victim of a bad relationship, instead she wisely walks away.

One of Rey’s strongest virtues is her compassion. She herself has suffered, therefore she recognizes and has sympathy towards others who have also suffered. It’s why she is so willing to help the Resistance. It’s why she opposes the First Order. Rey also cares about the truth.

Rey seeks out Luke expecting one thing, a wise mentor who will save the day. Instead, she finds a bitter old man with a jaded view of reality and no desire to help the ones who need him most. It’s pretty disappointing.

And then this happens.

ren and rey force bond

This series of Force Time calls were very powerful, and I can understand why some people were drawn into the connection between Rey and Ben. Ben shows some of his most broken, hurtful places, and Rey allows herself to see him as more than a monster. Redemption is a powerful force, the idea of love changing someone and healing brokenness is a good, good thing.

If only Ben Solo had actually decided to change…

kylo ren, I want you to join me

I really thought he might. The conflict in his eyes was real. The emotion he had when he looked at Rey was real. The revelation of what truly happened that dreadful day between Luke and Ben needed to come out into the light. Rey was right to give Luke a smackdown and call him out on his lies, bitterness, and false humility.

When Rey goes to Ben, she is going with the hope that he can be redeemed, thus changing the tide of the war and saving the Resistance. She wants a better future for him as an individual, as well as completing her mission. She never forgets that she loves people who also love her, and they are depending on her! She is not just doing this for herself, she is doing this for them.

She goes into the very jaws of the Dark Side. She faces Snoke, Snoke does his obnoxious “I know all” bit…and then this happens.

snoke the last jedi

Ben/Ren kills Snoke.

I was shocked. I was delighted. For the first time, I didn’t really feel like I knew what was coming next, I actually believed Ben Solo had returned. And then this glorious scene happened.

And I believed it. I truly did. I believed that Ben Solo had been redeemed. He had me fooled.

Unstable and abusive people are often very good at pretending to change while actually staying the same. That, or their view of reality is so twisted they see themselves as the hero and everyone else who opposes them as the villains. Such is the case with Ben Solo.

Rey believed as I did, bless her heart, sweet girl! She believed it had worked, Ben Solo was redeemed.

The fleet! There’s still time to save the fleet, order them to stop firing!

Ben?

He turns, and she sees his face. He’s not going to save the fleet, he wants to let it all be destroyed. He’s decided what his own version of “redemption” looks like and it looks like him killing off her friends and controlling the galaxy. He wants to let everything burn down, The First Order, the Resistance, burn the pain!

She pleads with him, and he begins to get angry.

No! You’re still holding on! Let go!

Kylo see Rey’s grief, he truly believes he understands it, he believes he has the answer. So he goes for her deepest wound, being abandoned by her parents.

It’s entirely possible Kylo truly thought he knew who Rey’s parents were. We have yet to see if the revelation that her parents were “filthy junk traders who sold her off for drinking money” is true or not. Kylo believes himself to be a hero, he may even believe himself to be Rey’s hero rescuing her from her attachments or ideas that are holding her back from “true growth”.

He’s either intentionally evil or massively deceived, either way, his next words left me feeling incredibly upset. Many Reylo shippers find them romantic, I see them for what they are…a trap.

You have no place in this story, you come from nothing.

In this statement, Kylo reinforces Rey’s feelings of utter worthlessness.

you are nothing kylo ren

You’re nothing…but not to me. 

Abusive/controlling people often isolate their victims from anyone or anything that could speak truth into their lives. They want their victim’s whole sense of worth to be derived entirely from them. They hold all the cards, they are their victim’s everything.

It’s pretty nauseating. Look at it in the face, Reylo shippers, I know it’s ugly, but it needs to be seen for what it is. This is NOT romantic, this is evil. This is a lie. Even as Kylo is saying this it is a boldfaced a lie! Rey wants to save the people in the fleet because they matter to her. Those people don’t see her as nothing! He’s smart enough to figure that out, but that would work against his beliefs and his agenda.

And then Rey resists.

Rey is an incredible person. Even at her lowest moment, she has come far enough to see the truth for what it is and to value herself regardless of her circumstances or past. Throughout this movie, she is brought face to face with grief, failure, disappointment, and rejection (some of her worst fears and wounds) and she does not give in. The strength this young woman possesses is utterly astounding.

She resists lies and evil where Ben Solo could not

She gets up after failure where Luke Skywalker remained on the ground…

Rey actually emerges even more powerful in character and ability.

rey moves rocks

And Kylo Ren hates it.

Abusive people hate being told no. They hate and fear someone who is stronger than them. Finding something beyond their control is repulsive to them.

True love leaves room for discussion and compromise, for change. There is no “it’s my way or the highway” in true love. True romantic love involves two people in partnership, not one person who decides all, even right and wrong.

If there was any shred of hope left for Reylo after Rey point-blank tries to take the lightsaber from him, Kylo utterly destroys that shred in what is the most disgusting display of a toddler tantrum I have ever seen on screen.

First, Kylo tells Hux that Rey is responsible for all of the Snoke pieces lying around.

Abusive people love to blame people for their own actions.

Next Big-Man-In-Control Kylo takes The First Order down to Crait to utterly obliterate whatever is left of the Resistance. The hatred in his face is clear. He probably would have succeeded too…

But who should show up in that glorious hunk of junk to kick him in the face? That’s right, Rey.

“BLOW THAT PIECE OF JUNK OUT OF THE SKY!”

*Can you feel the love tonight?* No, please, tell me again how much Kylo loves Rey. Tell me as he tries to have her blown to pieces (you cannot tell me he doesn’t know who is on that ship).

Next up we have good old Uncle Luke showing up, an action that Rey motivated. Kylo orders some overkill I want every gun we have to fire on that man…you know you have made a fool of yourself when Hux looks like the reasonable adult in the room.

kylos tantrum

That’s enough!

Do you think you got him?

During his enraged confrontation with Luke, Kylo screams,

I’ll destroy her!

This guy is making Mr. Darcy’s first proposal to Elizabeth look like a Pulitzer winning speech.

Rey rescues The Resistance. Luke gets the last laugh. Kylo Ren is left alone (technically victorious) and utterly miserable in an empty base.

A Force time call with Rey opens up…he looks up at her, pleadingly… (I know I just tried to kill you but I’m so lonely)

kylo on crait

…and she shuts the door in his face.

rey on crait

No, no, Ben.

Rey has the wisdom to know she cannot save someone who does not want to be saved. She is moving on with her life, she did her best, but now it’s time to let it go and fight.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren represents far too many people in real life. These people are truly broken, hurting, and yes, they do have value. These people were made in the Image of God. Yes, these people do need to have other people come into their lives and love them through the ugly.

  • Before a Kylo Ren type person can be helped, that person has to see their need for help and be willing to accept it, until that happens you can lose yourself trying to “save” them when they do not wish to be changed.
  • Once this type of person actually desires to receive help, the kind of people who should be involved are trusted mentors, sometimes doctors, counselors, and peer level friends. All of these people need to be strong enough in their own character to create healthy boundaries and call their friend on the carpet when something is wrong. These people need to hold their patient/friend/client accountable.

This kind of loving help should NEVER be in the context of a romantic partnership, because partnerships require trust. And you cannot trust someone like Kylo Ren.

We have a responsibility to point out evil things for what they are. We need to teach our children what trustworthy people vs. unstable and abusive people look like. We need to learn this ourselves.

Reylo is so much bigger than just a movie ship, it’s a broken and overly-romanticized type of relationship that leaves nothing but wreck and ruin for both parties involved.

If you are with a Kylo, know you are worth more! You are not worthless, you are not useless, you are not a mistake, YOU ARE LOVED! There is more for you in this life, please seek help.

If you are a Kylo, know that giving and receiving real love is vastly more satisfying than control, there is more to be had in this life than you are currently experiencing. YOU ARE LOVED, please seek help.

Next up, how FinnRey shows what true, sacrificial love looks like.

rey and finn

The Last Jedi: Where No One Had Gone Before

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Last Jedi: Where No One Had Gone Before

The Last Jedi went into uncharted territory. It scared the crap out of us. It broke the “rules”. It challenged our expectations and cliches. It was bold with the Force. It took our characters and tossed each of them into their worst-case-scenario. It showed broken heroes and villains.

Can I even venture to say?

The Last Jedi was the deepest main saga Star Wars movie to date.

It is not a perfect movie with zero flaws, nor do I say the most beloved. There is something magical about A New Hope. My personal favorite for a long time was The Empire Strikes Back (best time ever), and now TESB is tied with The Force Awakens in my affections.

The most basic piece of writing advice storytellers are given is this…

Find out what your character wants…and then do everything in your power to keep them from getting it.

Harsh, huh? And yet, it’s compelling.

Kylo Ren wants peace.

Ben Solo aka Kylo Ren feels thrown about by his life. He wants to finally feel he is in control of his destiny. The turmoil inside of him is eating it up. He believes he can reach this place of “peace” by resetting the game board and crowning himself king. Control everyone and everything…that’s the answer, right?

Rey wants a sense of belonging and identity.

Rey has felt abandoned her whole life. She’s been waiting for people to make her belong, to give her worth. Now she has this whole new can of worms called The Force and she wants someone older and wiser to guide her in it. Secretly she is hoping that Luke as her mentor can give her that sense of belonging and value.

Leia wants a legacy.

She’s been in this fight since the day of her birth. She has sacrificed everything. Her beloved husband is gone. Her son is now her enemy. Her brother is missing. Her people are few in number and on the run. Will there be anyone to take up the gauntlet and continue this all-important battle for freedom that has been her life’s work?

Poe wants his people to survive.

Poe has natural giftings as a leader. He’s brave, he’s kind, he’s insanely talented. He knows he can make a difference in this fight that he’s grown up in. He’ll give his last drop of blood to ensure that happens.

Finn wants the one person he loves most to be okay.

Finn has found one thing to fight for up to this point: Rey. She’s his primary object and sole focus. Rey has to have somewhere safe to return to.

Luke wants to die alone and bitter. He wants to punish himself for his failure.

At least…that’s what he thinks he wants.

Rose wants her sister’s sacrifice to count for something, and she’s sick of people dying.

She’s lost everything up to this point. She’s done with that.

Hux wants respect.

He gets treated like a buffoon…huh, wonder why that is?

Snoke wants…uh…he wants…control?

Yeah, ahem, Mr. Rian? You kinda left us hanging on that one. Hoping Abrams can fill in the gaps here, Snoke was too big a presence to just disappear from the story after one highly efficient lightsaber stroke.

Vice-Admiral Holdo wants her people to survive.

Huh, sound similar to anyone else we know? How about SHARING SOME INFO UP FRONT WITH YOUR PEOPLE ON THE SAME SIDE??? C’mon, Ellie!

Chewbacca wants a new friend.

*aggressive sobbing*

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BB8 wants to be a part of everything.

Our baby droid is really the only one who gets what he wants from start to finish and has an utterly fantastic time all the way through.

bb8 thumbs up

It was like pulling teeth with pliers for every character to attempt to reach their goal in this movie. It was almost like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day made into a Star Wars film.

Somehow, if it could go wrong, it did go wrong…right until the very end.

Because here is the follow-up piece of writing advice to the one I mentioned previously.

The characters must prevail, and they come out having defeated the obstacle, lie, villain, etc, and have grown in the process.

Let’s start with the heroes. How did they end up?

Rey chose her identity apart from her past or any other person.

rey the last jedi

She wanted a mentor. She wanted a dad. I get that. But people let you down, sometimes you cannot find what you want. What do you do then? You decide. “Who am I going to be regardless of what happens around me?” Rey decided, and she emerged as a shining beacon of new hope and the future for the Jedi.

Leia has a legacy.

leia on crait

We see it in the mentorship she gives her surrogate son Poe. She trains him on how to become a leader that will last. We see it in the determination of new Rebel recruits such as Finn. We see it in the enduring fire of characters like Rose and Holdo. We see it in the gleam in Rey’s eyes as she rejects Kylo Ren’s offer of power and instead chooses freedom. Leia’s life work has not been in vain, the fight will continue.

Poe leads his people to survival.

Yes, there are like 7.5 of them, but…

poe dameron hope

Poe was pushed far beyond his comfort zone, and he rose to the occasion. He’s already got incredible talent but in the end, he was going to lead his people to destruction if he did not learn the wisdom required to lead. He learned, and the future of the Rebels will now be secure.

Finn’s original goal was to make sure Rey was safe. He at first believes that to be his only mission. By the end, he chooses to join the Resistance for his own sake. This does not mean he loves Rey any less, it just means he has finally come into his own.

finn the last jedi

And as a delightful bonus, because Finn chooses to stick with the Resistance despite the “loser” circumstances, he was right where he needed to be to reunite with the person who feels like home to him.

finnrey hug last jedi.gif

Yes, a FinnRey post is totally in works. And no, I will not disclose how many times I have watched this hug. That’s none of your business.

Luke dies…but not the way he thought he wanted to. He instead dies in peace, a legend who has forever changed the galaxy. This is the fulfillment of the original goal he had as a youth who stared off into the sunsets and dreamed of adventures.

luke skywalker the last jedi

It’s poetic, it’s epic. Luke dies, but he is not completing the shallow and self-piteous arc of his elder years. No, instead he completes the much deeper and meaningful arc that we began in A New Hope. We have come full circle. And in all honesty, can we actually say that this giant of the Force is actually gone?

Rose saves the people she loves, making her sister’s sacrifice and everything up to this point worth it.

rose the last jedi

Rose is a simple and straightforward character, but she represents a new attitude for this fight. Surviving to fight another day is just as if not more valuable than sacrifice.  We’ve watched single to entire casts of beloved characters (*coughs* Rogue One) sacrifice themselves for the cause. FYI, I’m still hurting over Caleb Dume.

We admire and respect their sacrifice, and those deaths had their place. But winning is also about life, not just death. Rose represents life.

Ahem, yes, she saved the people she loves. Yeah, I saw that kiss too. That one, tiny little kiss that sent a whole crowd of people like sheep to the slaughter with the belief, “Well, I guess she’s with Finn now?” C’mon, guys, don’t be so gullible. If a single one-sided kiss was enough to seal the deal then half of you would be married to your little crush from kindergarten. More on that in the FinnRey post.

Vice-Admiral Holdo’s people survived. Barely. In spite of her. Really we all almost died but hey, she did that cool lightspeed thing! Plus, I have never seen purple hair look so chic.

holdo the last jedi

Holdo as a character, or rather, the idea and look of Holdo was utterly fascinating. She represented a larger group of people who like Leia, have fully committed themselves to this fight. Supposedly she’s another kind of Force-sensitive character who uses her abilities outside of the Jedi method.

I do not believe her character was done proper justice, she was fascinating in the creation, less effective in the execution. Her character was responsible for the biggest plot holes in the movie, and that’s a crying shame. Still…did I mention that awesome purple hair?

Chewbacca kept his new friend.

chewbacca the last jedi

We were amazed that he was willing to drop his new girl off to meet up with Ben Solo after how splendidly that went the last time, but Chewie is loyal to a fault. He obviously trusted that she could handle it. Chewie is one original character that we can rely on sticking around.

BB8 was a part of EVERYTHING.

Can this droid get any cuter?

Onto the villains.

DJ and Captain Phasma barely get an honorable mention. They got exactly what they signed up for.

DJ’s only purpose was to serve as a darker reflection of what Finn could have become, someone who is only in it for themselves. He was not useless, per se, but he was also not deep.

Phasma had the character arc of a yardstick. She served as a great few seconds of external conflict that made for some really hot Finn fight scenes. *golf clap*. Nice, but nothing to write home about.

Now for the REAL villains.

Hux is still a laughingstock.

hux the last jedi

In true villain form, Hux was thwarted yet again at the moment that should have been his triumph. He’s a rather interesting figure to me, he’s both fanatically frightening and laughably ridiculous all at once. He’s both bold and cowardly. He’s just weak enough to be dangerous and I think Kylo Ren is wrong to underestimate him. Hux’s defeat in this movie is going to make him even more dangerous in Episode 9. 

Snoke is dead. So, there’s that.

snoke the last jedi

Unexpected, cool, and also disappointing? Snoke was too malevolent and overpowering to just be forgotten. We need more information on what his bigger picture was. At the same time, he’s dead, so any agenda he may have had is in pieces. Literally.

I saved the most intriguing for the last…Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo.

kylo ren the last jedi

Like the heroes of this movie, Kylo Ren gets exactly what he wants…control. And yet, he ends the movie more desperate and villainous than he began it. Why?

What Kylo/Ben actually wants deep down inside is peace. Peace cannot be gained through murder and control, that only creates more chaos. Kylo’s blazing path of bloodshed and fury have not given him what he thought they would. Instead, he is left angrier and emptier than before. He’s a classic case of trying to achieve what you want/need the wrong way. This approach always leaves you in a worse situation than you began.

The Last Jedi went deep on multiple characters. It took our oh-so-familiar Star Wars moments such as the Darth Vader redemption scene and added a new twist to them. What if Vader kills his master but then decides to take control for himself?

We ended this movie where our heroes had nothing more than a hunk-of-junk and a smile to their names, and yet they felt that they had won while their enemies were left licking their wounds. Why?

Not all victories begin physically, the battle between good and evil is a battle of mindsets, ideals, and endurance. Our Rebels are winning this war, and the First Order knows it.

The Resistance is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.

I truly value the previous main saga movies that have led us to this point, but Rian gave us a fresh perspective on an age-old battle. He highlighted characters outside of just “the big three” and somehow managed to leave us full of hope after a dreadful day. While there are glaring mistakes in this film, I am also amazed by all he accomplished.

Our heroes went through the fire and emerged as legends. Our villains went through the fire, some of them burned, and some of them now burn with a vengeance. The stage is set for an epic conclusion to this saga.

the last jedi poster

More in-depth on aspects of this film coming soon!

Other articles you may like…

Avengers Endgame: Steve’s Past, Or His Future

Solo: A Star Wars Story

How to Train Your Dragon 3: The Hidden World

 

 

How to Train Your Dragon 3: The Hidden World

*Major Spoilers ahead*

Fellow Dragon Riders…that was utterly magnificent.

What a beautiful, beautiful story. The animation was breathtaking, the music reached my soul, and the characters. Our precious, beautiful, real characters.

I was shocked by how deep this beautiful story was.

The Hidden World somehow managed to teach us about the 2 sides of love. Letting go…and committing. 

Commitment…

Hiccup has chosen to commit to holding on to Toothless over and over again. He’s fought against his natural instincts, his culture, and even the death of his own father in order to stay true to his best friend. He changed his culture to make room for Toothless. And Toothless has returned the favor every time. He’s saved Hiccup from death and even reordered the entire dragon social structure (his culture) by challenging the alpha in order to protect his best friend.

hiccup and toothless challenge the alpha.gif

Letting Go…

When Toothless discovered the new love of his life, the Light Fury, Hiccup let him go for the evening to be with her, a first for them. The truth is, he did not know the full meaning of this choice. If he could see into the future he may not have been brave enough to let Toothless go. How true to life that is, sometimes we open the door for these massive and often upsetting life changes without even realizing what we are getting into. Hiccup was opening the door to let his best friend and ally go, but he did it because he loves him.

The Hidden World showed the need that arises sometimes to let those we love go in order to reach their full potential and thrive. But at the same time, with Hiccup and Astrid’s love story, it showed us the value and need to commit.

hiccstrid

Hiccup and Astrid have been an incredible pairing since their first flight together. Their strengths and weaknesses complement each other beautifully. It’s clear that they make a mighty leadership team.

Up to this point, they have remained merely a boyfriend and girlfriend. And that was enough for the context of that time. But today is a new day.

Hiccup has been a chief for a year, and it’s clear that he’s still very green in this position. He’s doing his absolute best, but he’s literally flying by the seat of his pantsYet another new threat emerges, and Hiccup reacts. He must protect his own people, but he is also torn because he feels the need to protect the dragons as well.

Astrid is still operating as an encouraging and playful girlfriend. She’ll tease him, give him a good kiss, and then fly off into the sunset again. She supports him in public sometimes, but she does so sitting down. I am speaking literally, watch the movie again.

We aren’t ready for marriage.

astrid and hiccup, the hidden world

I love the role of the mentors in this movie. Gober is not always to be taken seriously, but his comments to Hiccup and Astrid about the need for them to commit to each other so that they may lead their people with strength are words of wisdom.

hiccup and his mother

Valka’s words of wisdom blew me away.

He thinks he has to lead alone just because his father did.

Valka looks to Astrid, who is still hanging back while she watches Hiccup in emotional agony, struggling with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Go, he’ll listen to you.

In the darling flashbacks with tiny Hiccup and his father, we see that there was more to Hiccup and Stoick’s relationship than just the dysfunction we were introduced into in the first film. Stoick was a kind and tender father who was doing his utmost to lead his people and make the world safe for his beloved son.

stoick and little hiccup

And Stoick bore it alone. The scene of Hiccup walking down the stairs at night to find his mighty and strong father crying by the fire was so important.

Stoick did not have his queen. He did not have his better half, his light, his partner. He needed Valka. What might have happened if Valka had stayed? It’s possible she could have changed the culture before Hiccup ever had to. It’s possible Stoick and Hiccup may have never fallen out of understanding with each other. Stoick would likely even still be alive.

Valka knows all of this now. She now knows the weight and value of the position and place she gave up at Stoick’s side. She has the humility to accept her failure in that regard, but rather than sinking into the shame of that failure, she instead uses it to teach Astrid (the new generation) how to live better.

hiccstrid hidden world

Valka shows Astrid the value and honor of her position at Hiccup’s side. She makes Astrid aware that the need to commit fully to Hiccup isn’t just a future joy, it’s a necessity for Hiccup, for Astrid, and for the future of their people.

Hiccup cannot do this alone. And so Astrid takes up the challenge. She soothes his hurting heart, gives him encouragement, fights at his side, and puts everything that is overwhelming him into perspective. She shows him how to fly on his own two feet…thus replacing Toothless as the most important person in Hiccup’s world. 

toothless and light fury

There were so many mirrored moments from the first HTTYD movie in Hidden World. When Toothless has his first meeting of romance with the Light Fury, I was heavily reminded of the first scene where Toothless and Hiccup bonded.

Taming Toothless

This concept of discovering each other. Toothless regurgitates the fish that Hiccup brought him as a peace offering to share with his strange, two-legged friend. Toothless coaches Hiccup in what he wants him to do. Hiccup barely gets the fish down and then gives a large smile…that Toothless then attempts to copy.

smiling toothless

And my favorite, Hiccup draws his new friend. And Toothless copies.

In this scene, Hiccup teaches Toothless to be a personToothless is already deeply curious, intelligent, and noble. But the more time he spends as a part of Hiccup’s world the more person-like he is.

Enter, the Light Fury. She is beauty and grace itself, and she is all dragon.

Toothless has spent so much time with Hiccup that he is a bit lost on the traditional dance of the Furies and what he must do to impress his new lady love. He continues to look to his human friend for guidance, for just like Hiccup, Toothless has yet to learn to fly on his own.

Every scene with the Light Fury was so, instinctive. It was quiet, and yet it spoke volumes. This beautiful girl taught Toothless how to be a dragon again…and like Astrid for Hiccup, she replaces Hiccup as the most important person in Toothless’s life.

toothless and his queen

When Hiccup goes looking for his friend in the hidden world he finds Toothless seated as king of the dragons. He is comfortable, regal, at home. The look on Hiccup’s face is utter devastation. But it’s not just the crushing realization that he is going to have to lose his best friend, he is also overwhelmed with inadequacy.

He does not know how to be what his people need without Toothless. They have always relied on each other to fly. Toothless changed everything for him. Now he is beset on every front with enemies, questions, and problems, and his friend has found his place in the world apart from Hiccup.

Hiccup feels so small.

Whew. Did anyone else take that moment in the gut? This entire movie I was nodding my head. YES! Oh yes, I have felt this in my soul. I know what he feels.

The true conflict in this movie did not revolve around the villain, he merely put a face to a much bigger problem that brought the true struggle into the light. Hiccup and Toothless can no longer thrive together in the way they have up to this point. In order to truly grow, they must go their separate ways.

grimmel

Grimmel represented the problem that was going to continue to plague Hiccup and Toothless. Evil people coming after the dragons, and by extension, the Berkians. As chief of his people, Hiccup could not in good conscience keep endangering them. As alpha of the dragons, Toothless had to protect his people.

True leadership is not about control, it is more often about sacrifice and servanthood. Both Hiccup and Toothless had to give up being together as friends in order to do what was best for their own people, and for each other.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. The five-year-old child sitting 3 seats away from me in the theater was sobbing and I started tearing up on her behalf. I know, Baby. I KNOW! This hurts! This growing, changing, letting go, it hurts.

And yet…

Hiccup came into his own. His new partner, his lifelong partner, Astrid, stepped in beside him and gave him the courage to fly on his own. And he did. And he won.

hiccup flying on his own

Toothless and he fought together to save each other and their people. And then they said goodbye.

Another beautiful mirrored scene. When Hiccup awoke from the victory of his first battle where he and Toothless fought The Green Death, he was walking wounded. He was missing a leg. This represents his need for support. He almost falls to the ground when Toothless jumps in and holds him up. They have held each other up for years.

hiccup holding onto toothless

This time Hiccup is down a leg his new support steps in to hold him up, Astrid. She is his future.

astrid ive got you

Oh the symbolism. I love it!

hiccup saying goodbye

It hurts, but it is also so beautiful. It is so real. This is what love does. Love commits, love lets go. Love commits to doing what is best for the other one, and sometimes that means letting go.

Hiccup let go. His people were safe. He marries the love of his life and you know they will lead their people into a glorious future. He becomes a father, a tender, loving father by the looks of it. And he never stops being Toothless’ friend. I so deeply enjoyed the intimate scene at the end where Hiccup and Astrid take their children to go meet the dragons. We end on all of our favorite people (and dragons) flying together in the future they all fought to win.

I ended this movie with hope and joy. Yes, there is sadness, but there is also joy. So much joy. What a gift. What a gift.

I hope you enjoyed this movie as much as I did. Even if it hurt, I hope your heart was ministered to as well. There is so much truth and life to be gleaned here. I feel very blessed.

And yes…there are dragons.

How to Train Your Dragon: What Hiccup and Toothless Mean to Me

Netflix: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Frozen II

How to Train Your Dragon: What Hiccup and Toothless Mean to Me

…I looked at him, and I saw myself.

I know this is what Hiccup felt when he saw Toothless, but it’s an apt description for how I felt as well. I looked at Hiccup, and I saw myself.

15-16 years old, same age as Hiccup, I was at the beginning of a pretty horrible 5-6 years. I was sitting on my bed checking out this movie, How To Train Your Dragon, that everyone seemed so excited about. If I liked it, I’d show my family.

And I saw him. I saw a boy, an adorable boy. A boy who felt out of place in his world that only valued things he was not able to achieve. He didn’t know who to be, how to be. He was lost.

baby hiccup

But I also saw what lay beneath the surface, hidden below the aching loneliness and insecurity. A deep gentleness, his art speaks of that. A thinker, a planner, an inventer. And a friend.

The key to why How to Train Your Dragon is so special is not because there are dragons. Not because of the animation (which is breathtaking). Not because of the voice cast. Not even because of the amazing music. Music that I have listened to over and over again, sometimes during the hardest or emptiest moments of my life because it gave me hope and courage.

No, the key to How To Train Your Dragon is relationship.

That is the sole foundation, the common thread, the stone upon which the story is built.

Fierce Toothless

How to Train Your Dragon is the story of a remarkable friendship that not only shapes two remarkable individuals but also changes the course of the world’s history.

I felt like I was drinking from the fountain of youth during the scene where Hiccup and Toothless first bond. The colors, the movement, the soul! The connection of two characters who find not only belonging with one another but healing as well. It was so beautiful it made my heart thirst.

I was in tears when Toothless and Hiccup flew for the first time. Yes, of course, the music is triumphant, but they are free. So free. Out there in that wild wind and ever-changing and alive sky. That moment captured things in my heart that had been burning for as long as I could remember.

At that time in my life, like Hiccup, I wanted to run away. I felt trapped by my circumstances, by the strife in my family, by my own body as crushing anxiety caused terrifying symptoms to exhibit themselves. School became this heavy burden that I felt inadequate to bear. I wanted to leave, to find purpose and adventure somewhere else!

That was 6 years ago. In the time in between, somewhat like Hiccup, I have lost a parent through a divorce and the climax of decades of pain. I’ve had my world turned on its ear countless times. I’ve had to grow from child to woman under some very difficult circumstances.

And yet…I’ve learned to soar.

Flying Toothless

I always wanted to be free. As a child and teenager, I used to have these dreams where I found a stretch of rolling green hills. I knew that those hills ran on and on and on, into the wide open space of the West, into mountains and big skies. In the dreams, I would take off running into that world, nothing but me and miles of freedom. I could leave my problems behind me.

Running away. It would have been easy for Hiccup to jump onto Toothless’ back and take off into the sunset, never to return. He could have become a dragon-person like his mother, living apart from the human world. It was too hard to bring change, too hard to go against the grain. Too hard.

Hiccup does consider running away, but he is halted by the future love of his life, Astrid (a love story that deserves more attention on another day). Astrid has a way of calling the man out of Hiccup when no one else can. Not just the Man, the Chief.

hiccstrid

For that is who Hiccup is meant to be, he is meant to be a chief. A king, a leader, a pillar of strength for his people. This is who he is destined to be. Who people need him to be. 

Valka (Hiccup’s mother) had a very similar heart to her son, but she lacked his courage and determination. She lacked his hope. Valka never chose to return to her family and village, thus robbing them of the life and change she could have brought.

I had/have people who needed me to. I too have a destiny. And that destiny does not come in the solitude of those rolling green hills of my dreams. Hiccup finds freedom right where he is at, and because he stays and steps into the responsibility of who he was made to be…

he changes the world forever.

hiccup haddock III

I did too. I stayed. It felt like death sometimes, but I stayed. No, I hadn’t actually been planning on hopping on a plane to run away, but I was toying with the idea of running away in my heart. Checking out. Leaving it all behind to set off on a “grand adventure”.

Oh, what I would have missed. I might have missed changing the world forever. 

I’m free now. I have found the freedom I was looking for in the Heart of My King, My Abba Father. This thirst for the wild, alive skies? The rolling green hills? The adventures? He put those things inside of me, and now I know I do not have to run away to find them, I just have to run to Him.

I also found myself, in Him, in His freedom, in my relationship with Jesus and the relationships I built, I found me.

I’m a lot like Hiccup. I’m a peacemaker, a strategist, a warrior, an artist, a thinker, a friend…and a leader who thrives on connection.

Hiccup is the kind of leader that I aspire to be. He does not lead out of a desire for control, he leads to make a difference. People are drawn to Hiccup because he lifts them up, he brings fresh ideas and purpose to the table, and he draws the best out of everyone around him. Hiccup is a redeemer, he gives second chances and forgiveness willingly.

hiccup a warrior

We get to observe this type of leadership more so in Dragons: Race to the Edge the series on Netflix that takes place between HTTYD 1 and HTTYD 2. If you have not watched this series, I highly recommend it. It’s in this series that we watch Hiccup go from being a boy to becoming a man. A king!

You have the heart of a chief, and the soul of a dragon.

His mother is right. Hiccup is a noble leader with a fierce and gentle heart. It’s a long and often painful road that leads him to become who he was meant to be. I can relate to that. If I had known what my life held for me I don’t know if I would have gotten in line. 😉

But I’m here now. I’m me. And I wouldn’t have gotten this far if it hadn’t been for the relationships and connections that upheld me to this point…just like Hiccup and Toothless.

Hiccup and Toothless were two broken people who needed each other to fly. The strength of their friendship as they walked through those hard years together is what enables both of them to walk their own respective paths when the time comes.

God is everything to me. He’s the air I breathe, the dreams I have, the plans I make, the colors I love, the gifts I carry, the bright future I walk into. My mom and siblings have stuck by me through thick and thin, and we have held each other up in the dark of night and the light of day. I have a wonderful group of friends who I have laughed and cried with over the years. My circle is ever expanding, my ability to influence for truth and love is ever-growing.

I love my life. I love my story, even the ugly parts. Because the person I was destined to be is beautiful and I am going to change this world.

Taming Toothless

Hiccup and Toothless began their story together as youths, but they part ways as kings.

I feel as if I have grown up with Hiccup. I have been inspired and encouraged by this oh-so-human character and his oh-so-human best friend and the story of them facing life together. Like Hiccup and Toothless, I began this story as a youth, I am parting from this story as a queen.

However, unlike Hiccup and Toothless, my story is just beginning.

My relationship and connection with this story, with these characters has changed me. I am so sad to be saying goodbye, but I am so grateful for the journey. How To Train Your Dragon was and still is a powerful influence for good in my life.

One last battle. One last journey. A friendship to last a lifetime. See you at the movies.

hiccup and toothless, kings